The Man I Call Joseph

I met a man I call Joseph,

And a mysterious man He was.

He seldom talks about himself,

How he lives and what he does.

Until one day he showed me his home,

And Im amazed when my two eyes roam.

To see in the backyard is a lake,

How mirror-like the water can make.

We dipped our feet in the crystal water,

And to my surprise I saw a different brother.

When I looked down to his reflection,

I saw deep rough scars on his complexion.

Only in water I see this different glow,

Scars that seemed painful not so long ago.

For when I look up at him I see a clean face,

So my wonder of his past I now cannot erase.

I asked Joseph, why are there marks?

And Josephs reply directly pierced my heart.

I was beaten in my youth and left in the dark,

By my only brothers who tore my life apart.

They whipped me when I told them to stop,

I cried in pain until my tears final drop.

They sold me and dragged in the mud,

But it didnt change my love for my same blood.

I cried in my heart when I heard his tale,

Why his brothers so cruel and inhumane?

But what struck me most and what I cant scale,

How his joy for his brothers and fate still reign?

Joseph didnt know in me I dismay,

Because like him, I was a victim and a prey.

In my brothers hands I also lost hope to live,

But unlike Joseph, Im angry and cant forgive.

Why did Jesus allowed darkness to me?

All of my life, I question and plea.

Raped of my youth and cursed in shame,

Is this what I deserve? Is this what I became?

I was fully convinced Jesus left me alone,

But how can Joseph live without scorn?

With all his sufferings he should be estranged,

Until he told me what made him change.

The man I call Joseph came to me and said,

Just like you, I used to feel better off dead.

But be calm my brother and hear what Ill say,

From Jesus words that Hell never betray.

Jesus said to me, Its your gain and not your loss,

That I also took the same beatings on the cross,

What you didnt know, I suffered first for you.

So that you my son, now have less to cry about.

From that moment on I was never the same,

When I see my scars Im no longer ashamed.

That day in the lake, only Jesus was proclaimed,

Through Josephs life in my heart Hell remain.

(03/18/02)

THE FINEST DISCOVERY
(02/18/02)

I believe my innocence was broken early,
When I decided to use myself unwisely.
I allowed dark images to catch my head,
To satisfy my favors and to be secretly fed.

I was naive and misjudged who I am,
Aware to be hid away because of shame.
I wore a different face other than my own.
Until I found myself confused and all alone.

I know I'll drown in water but I still dived in,
Always running my own race that I never win.
Like inflicted with a deadly cancer that has no cure,
An unending call of rescue to whom Im not sure.

Ever since I claimed to know the light,
And the right alliance to win the fight.
But I never seem to remember to stand still,
And always miss the warmth He wants me to feel.

Until one day I got what I deserve,
When a person measured me with what Im worth.
He helped me removed the haze that blinded my eyes,
And revealed the true man I have in Christ.

Beneath my old dusty skin I saw,
The one and only God the one with no flaw.
A face that resembles the Father,
The only person whom no one can falter.

At first I thought He was too late,
Because for years I cried the same complaint.
But then I realized His timing was just right,
When I finally found myself in His visible light.

I was stunned to see this revelation,
The finest discovery of this beautiful person.
I have His lips, eyes and hands all along,
With Him in my mirror I will never be wrong.

Through Him, I knew who I am,
Through Him, I will never be confused again.
Because of Him a new man I became,
Because of God I will never be the same.

Only Spectators
(11/25/01)

One day when I was walking home, I saw this sign Jesus is here in front of a big building. I decided to go inside to check it out. I noticed there was no long line of people curious to see Him. But I still decided to go inside. To my surprise, thousands of people have already been standing inside anticipating to see Jesus. Ive never seen so many people in my life in one place. It seems that all the people in the world are inside, all spectators of Jesus. The building was large enough to fit at least 10 thousand people. Its obviously bigger than a football field and directly in the middle is a while square platform where I think Jesus would come down on to from the sky and stand on it for everyone to see. They immediately shut the door when I got in. I think I was the last person to enter the building, the very last person out of thousands to squeeze inside the building.

I dont know whats in store for us spectators and I dont know what to expect about Jesus. Sure I know that a mere glace of Him will satisfy me and all people who are very thrilled waiting for Him and curious to see what He looks like and what He will do. I can feel a happy and festive mood in the air and I can see a high and agitated spirit in everyone inside the building, all excited to see the Son of God Jesus Christ. Come to think of it, everyone waited for a long time for this to come. Each person in the world went though a lot for this day. Each one have there own story to tell both good and bad which made them come this far and have this once in a life time opportunity in their lives. I myself cant wait for the day when I will see Jesus. Much have been said and told about Him and I have a lot of things I want to tell and ask Him if given the opportunity to come face to face to Him.

And then the He came in the middle of the crowd on top of the square platform. No loud thunder and lightning nor angels singing to announce his entrance. It just happened so fast and very ordinary. I have a clear view of Him from where I was standing. His face was glowing with brilliance. Everyone became silent when they got a glance of Jesus face. I myself was stunned with His outstanding presence. People were wiping and clearing their eyes to get a better view of Him. Mouths were opened and eyes were wide and they all exhaled a long deep breath upon His sight. In my mind I realized that from seeing Him alone, I now know what real beauty looks like.

The crowd started to cheer, dance and sing songs. Everyone seems to be trying to get His attention. Some were crying and some were laughing, but I remained calmed and silent as observe Jesus and the crowd around Him, for never in my world have I seen such mix expression of emotions toward one person.

But Jesus suddenly extended His arms and pointed His finger at my direction. Of all the thousands of people around Him calling His name, it was clear that He was looking at me. I was stunned. Our eyes met each other and I read in His lips as He whispered, I choose you.

I was surprised and felt dead. The people moved their eyes at me and now looks at me instead of Jesus. Whats going on? Why could He choose me? I said to myself. I am a nobody, I doesnt deserve this attention! Is Jesus crazy? Is He joking?

I cannot look at Him anymore. I felt like a fool and was so embarrassed and ashamed. I said to myself again no way! I cant do this and let a kind and wise God to look and choose me. It must be a mistake.

I sinned and offended Jesus so many times. My actions were always a slap on His face and my lungs breath words of doubt and mockery of Him. I shut my door to His face so many times. How could He do this to me?

I was trembling with shame and disbelief within the crowd and they continued to look at me. But I cant help it anymore, I belted out a loud scream saying, Jesus, how could you?

And there was dead silence.

I fell down on my knees weeping. I covered my face with my hands. I felt very stupid and felt I was stripped naked. I kept on saying aloud why, why, why, Jesus?

I remembered the days when I called upon the Lord for help and He didnt answer me. I recalled the number of times I waited for Him to rescue me but He didnt came. I went back thinking of the sufferings I experienced and how many times I cried to the Lord and He was nowhere to be found. I said with my hands and face on the ground why now Jesus in front of these people you said you want me? I needed you more in the past but you didnt show up. Why now?

Then I felt footsteps walking towards me, and I know it was Jesus coming on my way. I dont know what to do or say to Him. In my mind I was battling for words to say. But before I knew it, I felt His warm soft hands touched my shoulders. He helped me stand up and dust off my knees and arms. I can only do was weep and hide my face from Him.

Then Jesus put His arms around me and embraced me tightly. I tried to pull away but He didnt let me go. I buried my face from Him and to the rest of the crowd on His chest. And then He whispered softly in my ears its alright my son, Im here now.

Still trembling and close to His body, Jesus said to me look around you, these people are no spectators for my coming, but they came here to be spectator for you. And Jesus told me youve come home to me and its my nature as your true fathers to welcome and accept you unconditionally. I invited all these people who are your brothers and sisters to celebrate with me for your homecoming.

I was there in the past when you called and cried out to me for help. For you will not be here with me right now if I was not with you.

I listened to you when you called me, and these are my answers, He looked around the place and the crowd applauded and cheered, God is with you!

Then His eyes and mine met again. In His eyes I can see He was looking beyond my sorrow, and face to face He said to me, when its all been said and done my son, all that matters now is that you returned to me.

Hearing that final words from Jesus I knew that Im finally home around His arms and He will never let me go. He answered all my cries and questions. Hes always have and will always be with me no matter how my world crumbles me. Ive waited this far to see and hear Jesus, and no matter how long and hard it took me to get this far, its all worth it.